FOOTMARK

berkali-kali aku jatuh..
tapi ga pernah kek gini rasanya...

acaraku, mgkn ini ga seberapa..
tapi beban moral dan tanggung jawab itu yang penting..
aku ga butuh minta maafmu, aku ga butuh ini itu..
yg cuma aku butuh sekarang ini Professionalisme nya kalian itu..
klopun hrs flashback sama yg lalu-lalu kyknya ga pantas lagi..
tapi aku pikir kau bukan siapa-siapa!!!ga pantas kau ngebentak aku kyk yang dulu2..
kau tau itu buat aku SAKITTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

sulit.
sakit.
kecewa.
tapi senang.
entahlah, itu yang aku rasakan sekarang.
aku hanya gak sanggup melihat ke depan.
just it.

u know wad is pain??
why u feel pain?? ha??
why?

u know wad is agony??
why u must feel the agony?? ha??
why?

u know wad is mad??
yahh!! that's wad i feel now!!!!
mad!
coz no one can understand this one fo sure..
no one!!
including u..!

i was wrong judging..
ure no different from the other..
neva changing ur self..
( like and always making a preassure )
speak as they pleased..!!
and neva care about me!!
and assume all okay!
dunn ask me wad can i do fo u, but..
this time, ask ur self..wad u way to make me feel better darling..?!
i wanna to let u go.. ( nobody wants me to see and hear now..!! )
but, I CANT!! coz,
i sacrificed a lot already.. for you, for you, and you...
please care..
dunn jux complain on ma face!!
care me..care..!
ffiiiuuhh..
hard! *sigh

all i ever did was care
and when you needed someone i was always there
but all you ever did was push me away
and all the mean stuff you used to say
now when i look in your eyes,
there's just something i can't deny
it feels so cold
and my feelings are put on hold
i don't feel the same way about you
cause i can't get through you
but there was a time
when i thought you were mine
but all you did was brake me
until you couldn't brake anymore
so that's when i said i don't want you anymore
i was tired of the pain and tears
and all you ever brought me was fear
my heart was once going through a stage
but now i can say bye to all that rage
although its hard to say..

kayaknya emang susah kali ini..
kepala udah mau pecah aja..
entahlah..
semangat ga ada, rencana pada dibatalin, males ikut rapat2 (karna uda bisa dipastiin ada org yg bener2 ga pengen aku temui disana) padahal byk bagian kerjaku blm kelar.. *sigh
semua org2 menyalahkanku menyudutkan ku dgn alasan ini itu..
aku cape!!
yg satu minta tahan2..
yg satu marah2, ngehindar, bla..bla..bla..

airmata inipun uda kering kawan..KERING! banyak kurang banyak apalagi ini coba??
gigipun ikutan sakit.. **nyuut..nyuutt** T.T (bener2 byk derita di bulan Mei ini..)
penyakit lamapun kambuh: perut kembung, asam lambung naik, sering muntah, tidurpun KURANG! contohnya ya skrg ini,, T.T
knp hrs ada masalah2 lagi?
knp ga membiarkan aku hidup tenang aja?
makin ga tenang wkt temanku nanya, "kenapa??kok sedih kali??"
HA?
aku ga butuh itu sebenarnya kawan, pertanyaan itu membuatku makin sakit..
separah itu kah kondisiku?
sulit memang.sulit sekali..
buruk.

- T.Je

*deep breath*
ga tau gimana mau nulis ini..
yg aku tau ini kyk main "Enjot-Enjotan"...
kadang diatas, kadang terhempas kebawah..
Aku cape klo hrs selalu dipaksa buat ngertiin orang2..
kapan mereka ngerti????

hah!
entahlah ini terlalu rapuh..
ini udah berakhir..
selesai. tanpa ada embel apa2..
thanks buat yg udah2..
walopun masi banyak hal yg belum dibagi..tapi biarlah..


ada apa ini?
ga ada satu orangpun otaknya normal skrg..
akupun bingung kawan..bingung!!!!!
akupun ga tau kawan..GA TAU!!!!!


Loving you was easy,
losing you was hard.
Loving you is still easy,
but knowing you are no longer mine,
is the hardest of it all.